Doing the Work

It amazes me how easily those in power positions are quick to identify their roles and act upon that function. This is probably most apparent in parenting. A child may have the desire to explore a certain avenue, but be prevented to do so because a parent identifies with their roles. Suddenly, providing becomes a case of spoiling; and prevention due to fear becomes a facet of overprotection.

In my first marriage, I can see how much of my relationship's interactions were based on the roles we were living. My ex was a teacher and wife. I was a writer and husband. These roles dominated the way we lived with one another, and prevented an openness that would have come with being aware of the roles we were playing.

These days I see the roles between my parents and myself altered by time and security. There are still times when my parents may identify with their egos and want to protect or assuage my wounds, but, for the most part, these instances have diminished greatly with my own capacity to handle difficulties that they themselves may not have been able to surmount. Thus, allowing the relationship to move outside its original boundaries.

Still, this does not mean that my parents' overprotective moments are long forgotten. If an examination was made presently, it would most likely prove that the same fears were still prevalent, but that maybe it simply went unspoken or unacknowledged because I am past the normal age when it is mentioned. 

As I get prepared to be married once again, I am aware how easily my role as husband or father could be miscontrued by my ego and result in overprotective coddling. I will meditate to be in touch with my inner truth. Maybe, this will help me put down the conceptual roles and constructs that surround me.

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