People have been asking, so here I am telling

People have been asking, so here I am telling.

I went out with the lady I spoke of before. We have yet to make a second date. I don't know if it will ever happen. She is busy. Way too busy. Believe me.

It was fun to feel the flutter of something new though. I haven't felt that for a while.

Now I am reaquainting myself to thinking in single digit again.

Isn't that strange? Once you go out with someone, your world suddenly becomes coupled with that identity.

If your anything like me, your imagination goes, and there you are sharing picnics and talking about screwing in the crudest ways.

"Use the rubber from the banana tree," she says.

"And how about these rusty chains from the old fence by Witherspoon's?" I ask.

Yes, maybe a strange routine for my mental trapeze of the day, but that's where my mind goes when I get kinky. Rusty chains and rubber trees everytime.

Now I will do a half somersault straight into a half-gator named solitude.

I could use 3 weeks to write, to sit and exercise, to get a break from things.

I guess I will have to create it.

Chances are that will happen.

The TV show ends in a couple weeks. Then it is back to nothing again. Who knows? This production company might have something else for me.

I wouldn't mind taking the time off, but isn't that the bitch of working. Once you start, it's hard to stop, when you got mountains of student loans and bills to pay.

I think I'll start playing the lottery. Either that or start my own company. I will call it "Monkey Child." It will be the latest in genetic design. First, we will begin with a replication of Gerald, the mouse. He was our first, so we remember him. Most of the time are subjects are not given names. We don't want them to get attached to us. It's more like Subject 247-A (the A denotes genetic splice; b signifies a mutation).

We have had only 3 strands of mutation from over 3,217 Gerald replicas. Most of us here at Monkey Child feel this is a great ratio for success. In fact, there have been several chief executives from "Microscopic Concerns" who have congratulated our team with pay bonuses and chocolate.

There is nothing like being paid in chocolate for genetic replication. Some of the other Minseldinks say it's not wave friendly. We might as well be pulled into the tide. You know how the old sailboat rocks.

Me. I'm right at home with a chocolate nouget, a bucket full of mice, and some spread sheets.

Just look at me after 3 chocolate nougets.

[Slide Show 12.413 begins]

12-6: You see how the pail is loose in my hand in that frame. I'm calm. I'm comfortable. I could makes some more notes, or I could sit down and tally the pink noses from multicolored genus.

13-A7: You see that. That is a mutated Gerald. You see how he sniffs the chocolate. Can you see that? It's good chocolate.

18-B6: This is a picture of me and Katherine Danilier. She is French. She likes mice and pumpkin soup.

We went on a date on Friday. She told me that I was after her for one thing and she wasn't going to give it. I could try all I want, but it wouldn't make an ounce of difference. It didn't matter if I could computate sin and cosign equations in my head. It didn't matter if I could scratch my back with a test tube and have an allergic reaction to glass. It didn't matter what we had in common. It was the differences that made it impossible. At least that's what she whispered in my ear.

"It's the differences that make it impossible," she whispered.

I didn't sweat her that hard. I may be a physicist and genetic modulator of a class 4 distinction, but I still have marbles and a 6 pound sack of flour that says, "If you put cheese in a maze, the mouse will eventually find the cheese."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she scowled.

"Oh, nothing," I said and put on Moolack 17. It was a potent after shave discovered by a Venetian princess. I think her name was Zalookie or something like that. I don't know. I'm not a 4-class scholar when it comes to history. Not at all. But I can tell you about the chemical reactions. You see there was a high concentration ammonium oxide. As we all know, sodium when mixed with Ammonium Oxide creates a potent solvent that can dissolve high traces of CO2. Add that to some Ram's bllod and crocodile urine and you get Moolack 17. An irresistible blend of pheremones and science.

17-D22. This brings us to our final frame and the morale of this story. You see that wart on the tip of Gerald's paw. I know. How could we miss that? Well, we did. What can we say? Gerald was a mutation to begin with, so, all in all, I'll have to report these findings to the grant officials and all the fine people at Microscopic Concers.

"You can't be serious!" Chima Pantoonar from the Telepathy Department shouts.

"This is grounds for extrication!" Pema, our resident poet, pontificates.

"Yes," I calmly explain. "It is. And you are the first to go, along with anyone who has a name starting with G."

"What?" some of the G's shout.

"You can't!" a few others say.

"We'll kill you!" the alpha G's screech.

Okay. Hold on. What is the point of all this? What happened to Katherine?

Oh, yes, you're right. You are a good secretary, Charlie. Top notch. Now, yes...lets scratch everything I said about the mutated gene, and we'll get to that later.

Mr. Pomondre continued to pace the room. I scratched out what I had written and put my hands back onto the LED display.

No reason to tell everything in the first page, right? Okay. Lets get back to Katherine, okay?

Yes, sir.

Katherine was morbidly obese. She was into twinkies as I'm sure you could tell. Well, as she ate twinkies, I continued to use Moolack 17. Naturally, I had taken psychology courses in my undergraduate years, and I realized that if I could associate the scent of Moolack with an endorphin raising quota such as food, I would be closer to bringing Miss Danilier closer to my veritable notions.

With a potion?

Well, yes, Charlie. And what of it? It's the pleasure principle and I'm a scientist with a class 4 distinction.

Yes, sir. Please continue.

Dr. Pomondre continued for quite some time. I will not bore the reader with an exact account. Let us say that the Doctor finally got Miss Denelier. This was right around the time he discovered the cause of Gerald's initial mutation. I will tell you about this in 3 sentences, because I am about to leave work and someone needs a ride and I can't keep typing because she is walking towards me and no it's not the girl I went out with.

1. Dr Pomondre got Katherine with his reputation and his money.

2. She was interested in rising above the rank of Genetic Specialist and saw her way in with Dr. Pomondre.

3. She didn't buy the Doctor's story for a minute.

She was also not obese as the Doctor previously mentioned. She was quite attractive. I found this out for myself when I spoke to her.

The Conversation...

(I will finish this later. Bye, P.)