Mine: Bomber Dream with Clams

Strange dream. Visions. I am awake. It is 7:27 AM. I am at my Michaelangelo Desk. There are scraps of paper tacked to the wall. A stapler to my left. My painting to my right. Hold on...

I burn sage and sweet grass. I open the curtains. Sunlight fills the room. I stare at a drawing on my altar. It is one of the first comics I did in Pittsford. The Knights of the round table. Me as King Arthur. My dad's hope for his sons. Knights.

The dream... Mine. (in photographs)...


Part I: The Bomber

1. A huge bomber is flying over China. It unleashes several million bombs. They land on the coastline. They explode. The bombs continue to fall.

2. I watch this scene with fear. I think about retaliation.

3. Missilles are shot at the bomber.

4. The bomber explodes.


Part II: Listening and Surfing

I am looking at a canopy of birds and nature. I see bugs and creepy crawly things. I watch as the birds eat the bugs. Each of the animals eating one another. I look over at my father who is watching from a distance. I tell him how beautiful it is. Then I dive into the canopy with my pillow. I surf up and down through the air like it is water. Then it becomes water.

As I surf, the pillow smooshes unwanted bugs. It is like a lawnmower clearing paths.

There are people along the shoreline. People are hungry. They are waiting for the clams to be dropped into the water. There are some clams which are already falling. Then, without warning, a huge cargo of clams emerges from the ocean. The people cheer.

I am excited and slightly terrified by the clams.


Part III: Zach

Zach Chupa (a boy I grew up with) is running towards me. He has wings. I think, "He is an angel or an angel is behind him."


Now I am looking at the Sharpie pen on my desk. It is 7:59 AM. My walls are creamy white. I have staff paper laid against a frame on my right wall.

Okay. Now I will question my mind.

First thing when I woke up, I thought about war. Then I thought about Nicole. I imagined she was with another guy. This was painful. I put my mind to inquiry right away. I asked, "Is this true?" My mind wanted to change it to "could it be true?" I asked it again. "Is this true?"

My mind said, "I don't know."

Who would you be without this thought?

"Happy," I said.

I am not my mind. Now what?

Mmmm. I accepted reality. I said, "What is reality?"

Reality is I am no longer with Nicole. Reality is she does not love me in partner terms. Reality is that even in friendship terms she is not available like I want. Reality is that I have and will be with other women. She will also be other men. Reality is that we are not together. Reality is, that although we still have to sign papers, we are divorced.

Turn it around. Nicole is not with another guy or she is. Whose business are you in? Yours, Hers, or God's?

I am in her business.

What trade of business are you in for this lifetime?

I am in the business of me.


Wow. This war dream was intense. The surfing on the bugs and water was fun. My pillow can really boogie.

What does my dream mean?


marlowe diego said...

your dream is the future and the present but not necessarily in that order.

i like the clams and the canopy of nature....the fecundity of life/death - your fear and excitement: we are scared of the apparent chaos, the lack of control of life. and i've always thought of deep bodies of water in dreams as meaning the emotional psyche. you were swimming in your deeper emotions.

you woke and thought of nicole. i know. that pain is so real and yet such an illusion. how is that? how can that be?

it's a neat little paradox wrapped in a bananan skin.

love you man

erktxju (marlowe diego)

Pirooz M. Kalayeh said...

It is 11:10 AM. The woman who sits next to me is black. The man who sits to my left is white. I, who sit inside myself, I am brown.


There is no pain. Only an unquestioned thought.

My body knows this reality. It is in reality.

My mind is a different story. Until it is questioned. Then it accepts reality and there is no suffering.

If there is pain, that means that somewhere in the next nanosecond I need to ask a question.

It is 11:08 AM. I am at Weller Grossman Productions in Hollywood. There is a Snoopy on my television monitor. It is made of plastic. It is the "Snow Snoopy" version. I grab it and put it down on my desk. I spin it around 3 times.