My mom is beautiful. Last night she creeps into my room. I say creep, because she doesn't like to disturb me. She watches me for a while.
I am looking at Kandinskys on the web. I don't even know why. I can't stop looking. I can't do anything else.
"Pirooz," she says. "What are you doing?"
"Looking at paintings."
She comes and stands next to me.
"Are these your painting?" she asks.
"No," I say. "Kandinsky."
"The most beautiful in the world."
She stands as I scroll through some images. She loves the "Circles" painting. She says how beautiful they are. We look at the paintings for a good while. Then she stops as if an idea has just come to her. She tells me to come sit with her.
"Come, Pirooz," she says. "I want to talk."
We go into the living room. She tells me her worries. She cries a bit. Then the launching starts. Story after story. She talks about a trip to New York City. A forgotten plane ticket. My dad's business trips. How crazy the men in this family are. How crazy I am.
"I save your life, Pirooz. You were so crazy."
"Don't you remember?"
"Come on, boy. You remember. You are blocking it. Don't you remember when you were break from Lynn, and your band is not going together anymore, I tell you to come be with me. I say, 'Pirooz, come stay with me.' But you get so angry. You are like, "NO! I am not going anywhere.' Then one day, you call me and say, 'Mom, I want to come live with you. Come bring the truck.' And I say, 'Thank God,' and I say, 'Pirooz, I do not have truck. I will bring car and we make two trip.' Then I come and we get everything from Lynn's place, and you come home. And, oh my God, Pirooz, you stay in your room day and night. I come in and see you, and you are just looking at the ceiling. Sometime for 10 hours. I say to myself, 'God please save my son.' Then one day you come home and say you want to go to New York. You say mom can I have 50 dollars. And I say, 'Pirooz, I'm sorry honey. I do not have any money.' And you get so crazy. You pick up Panauh's Walkman and you crash it on the ground. Then you take my pot, and it has Shivit Baghali inside, and you just throw it everywhere. I still have this pot. The handle break, but I keep it. And then you crash everything. You go and grab this dish that I keep the candy, this nice crystal, and you take it outside and just crash it."
"Oh, Pirooz, I was so scared. I think my son is really crazy. I run to the bank. I say to you, 'Wait, Pirooz! I am going. I get you the money. I got to the bank like this (shakes her hands), and I get the money. And when I come home I see you have dustbuster and broom, and you are cleaning everything, and I say, 'Here, Pirooz. Here is the money.' "
"Then you say to me, 'Mom am I crazy?' And I say, 'No, honey you are not crazy. You are just depress. Maybe you want to go see psychologist.' And then you say, 'Yes, mom. I want to go to see psychologist, but it has to be a woman, and they have to be this thing, psychiatrist, or psychologist,' you say. I say, 'Thank God,' and for two days I am on the phone to find psychologist, but no one has appointment. Then I go to supermarket, and I see Carla, and she is talking about her son, and say that he is not doing good, and that he see a psychologist who save his life. And I think, 'Oh, thank God, maybe this man save my son life.' But I don't say anything. I just say, 'Is good to have good doctor. Can you give me his number.' And she give it to me. And I call this doctor and I say, 'Please help my son. Do not worry about bill. I pay whatever you need. Please just help my son. Please save his life.' And the doctor say he help."
"Then you go see this doctor, and I see little by little you get better. I call the doctor and I ask, because I do not know if you even go, 'Is he coming?' And he say, 'Oh, yes. He is coming. He is a beautiful boy. Very smart. Very bright.' But he doesn't say anything else. And I think, 'Thank, God.'
"Then one day you come and say you are going to go back to school. And then you go write the letter and you go, and then you move in with Sonny, and then you come to me one day and say, 'I meet this girl Mom. I meet her 6 years ago She is very nice. What do I do?' "
"Because sometime you are still with Lynn. And I say, 'Isn't Lynn with other boy sometime.' And you say, 'Yes." And I say, "Well, then it doen't hurt to go and see.' And you say, 'Okay, mom I go see.'"
"And then you go with Nicole, and everything is nice. And you go to school. And now you are separate, and you are handling so well. You are here. You are so calm. I am so proud of you, son."
"Yes, all of you are so crazy. I remember one time Paiman come home from school, and he come inside, and I see one second later someone knock the door. I open the door and this woman is here--the one who live with the Indian man--and she is screaming, 'You're F-son! He F this.' And I say, 'What is going on? What happen?' I look at Paiman. I say, 'What did you do?' And he say, 'I didn't do anything.'"
"And this woman is so mad, Pirooz. She is screaming. She say he come and she use the word ---- take his thing, and he just peep right on her tree. 'He take his thing and do it right by my window,' she say."
"And I say, 'I am so sorry.' I look at Paiman, I say, 'Why you do this?' And he say, 'Mom, I try to hold it. I couldn't do it. I was going to explode. You don't know how it is. You are woman. I have to go. This was the best spot.'"
"Oh, it was so funny, Pirooz."
"What happened with the lady?"
"Oh, she was so mad. She say, 'Never again! Do not come near my house. Walk by the road. Don't come to my house again!' She was so mad."
We all laugh. The well has been unleashed though. My mom continues.
"And Panauh, Oh my gosh. He box everyone. One day I see he come home, and then one second later, I hear the ring. These people come who are parents of--what is his name Ben, Brian--"
"Ben ****," my brother says.
"Yes, they are mad. But they are not like that lady. They just say, 'Your son come and box are son, and his nose is bleeding, and we have to go to hospital.' And I turn to Panauh, I say, "Panauh why you do this?" And he say, 'I didn't do anything.'"
"And then these parent confront him, and I say again, 'Why you do this?' And he say, 'He call me gay.'"
"Oh, Pirooz, how many boy he hit. So many. He box so many boy they have a meeting at school. I come and is seven people and one chair for me and I sit. They say, 'If one more time your son box someone, we going to send him to boot camp.' Then I come home and tell Panauh, and the guidance counselor he call Panauh. And then he understand this is real, because we go see a commercial on TV, on this boot camp, and he get scared, and then he doesn't box too much anymore."
My mom stops her storytelling. She looks at the clock. She is right on time.
"Come, Pirooz. Come let us go see this Barbara Walters. Tom cruise is coming."
I prop pillows on the bed, and she lies down. We watch the whole special together. I am moved by Kanye. Jamie Foxx seems to be doing good. My mom persk up when Tom Cruise comes on the screen.
"You love Tom Cruise," I say.
"No," she tells me. "I like him because he look just like you."
I smile. I turn back to the Kandinsky on the screen.