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1. Billy Sue’s Hips

I joined the mafia last week. They needed someone to run the numbers. They thought I was a good candidate. I didn't wet my pants. That was an important thing to being a criminal. In fact, it was Jacksaw's motto: Don't lose control of your bowels.

He carved it into this statue on his desk. I was staring at the letters as he talked to me. I don't think he noticed. Jacksaw wasn't the type of guy who noticed things. He was more of a henchman. At least that's what Molo told me.

"He's more of a henchman," Molo said, under his breadth. "Just nod when he says bowels."

I nodded pretty much the whole time. I had been up all night. Molo took me out to this club on Sunset. He said I had to figure out how this town worked. That was the only way I could be a right-good-criminal.

"Pay attention to the streets," he said.

That was a tough thing for me. I had Billy Sue on the mind pretty much all the time. I think it was her hips that did it. They went back and forth like a grandfather clock.

I could see them now when Jacksaw said bowels. I didn't let on though. I just noddded.

This impressed Jacksaw. He said I was right-good by him. All I needed was a toothpick. Then I would be prime time.

"Take one," he said.

I put the toothpick in my mouth. I clicked it against my teeth. Cick-click.

"Yeah," he said. "You're prime time now."

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I am.”

Molo did the rest. He sliced right into him. I didn’t stay for the festivities. There was no need. I wasn’t doing the cutting. Molo was. He was doing a good job of it too. It took me a while to get all the blood off that little statue. Then I put it in my pocket. I figured Billy Sue would get a kick out of it. She was into arts and crafts. Not me though. I just wanted to see those hips click.