Looking at the Sky

If I were Shogun, I would kill ninjas.
If I were Batman, I would let the Joker win.
If I were President, I wouldn't go to war.
If I were Britney, I would buy Spain.
If I were a ghost, I would haunt a movie theater.
If I were YouTube, I would watch myself.
If I were a diaper, I would get changed.
If I were saluting, you would be a general.
If I were a soap opera, I would be on before Oprah.
If I were holy, I would be water.
If I were So Gee, I would marry Pirooz.
If I were grumpy, I would take a nap.
If I were Pringles, I would get eaten.
If I were a rainbow, I would cross the Atlantic.
If I were a myth, I would not be real.
If I were a watch, I would not stop.
If I were clay, I would look for Michelangelo.
If I were a peach, I would eat myself.
If I were a weapon, I would self-destruct.
If I were crippled, I would ride a horse.
If I were safe, I would listen to Kenny Loggins.
If I were light, I would grow things.
If I were a scientist, I would study atomic energy.
If I were a molecule, I would multiply.
If I were fast, I would race Carl Lewis.
If I were gold, I would be buried.
If I were water, I would be the Pacific.
If I were oil, I would be pumped on the New Jersey Turnpike.
If I were shelter, I would be a cave.
If I were hopeless, I would call my dad.
If I were educated, I would run for Senator.
If I were money, I would be spent.
If I were racing, I would write faster.
If I were a phone call, I would get answered.
If I were falling, I wouldn't stop.
If I were held, I would cry.
If I were a moment, I would be gone.