, DMV, and Nicorette

I finished Hardcore Zen at the DMV. Good book. I enjoyed it. The DMV too. It only took 2 hours. That isn't so bad. Not for Los Angeles. I know. I live here. I can also prove it. With a license plate! (Oh, yeah! Take that CHP!)

I managed to put my new plate on the back of the car, but not the front. I just couldn't get the front ones off. I'll need some WD-40, or whatever it's called to pry the rust from the nut. Maybe baking soda will work? Who knows?

After the DMV, I headed to Target and got Sharpies, a card table, and Nicorette. I am down to 5 cigarettes a day, and it's still making me feel ill. I don't know if it's turning 30 or what, but I have been having strange pains throughout my body when I smoke. I take that as a clear signal to give them to shove off. I don't have time for idiocy. I love life too much. I'm also willing to see reality. Smoking is bad for the body. I am older. It's not a good idea. I will help the world by staying alive, and creating more works of art and literature. End of story.

That being said, I came back to the TELEVISION office to find an acceptance of my story, 12 Days of Christmas from I was so proud to be involved with the site, especially with the story they accepted. It's an edgy piece. I even thought it might be too edgy. But, no, I was wrong. They dug it. In fact, it's already up. Thank you, Jahanshah, and all the editors at It's a thrill to be included on your site.

Anything else?

I have created xingtones of the first single off of Orange Lambhorgini. You can download them for free at Just click on New Ringtone. Send it to your phone. Open the message and click GO TO to launch your phone's browser. Then download and set that puppy loud, because you are now fronting a completely orginal ringtone from the song Orange Lambhorgini (video coming soon) off of the album Orange Lambhorgini, and yes you're cool.


Jessica Smith said...

On taking off your old license plates: go to a garage and get someone to do it. If you know a girl, get her to go to a garage and get someone to do it. They like to do such things, it makes them feel strong and capable and maybe a little rebellious. They will do it for free, of course.

Yay that you're quitting smoking.

Pirooz M. Kalayeh said...

Yes, yay, is right. I'm so excited. I can't wait. It's going to be fun.

Believe it or not, I have yet to meet Hollywood gals who act the way you describe, but maybe I haven't given them a chance. I'll try it tomorrow. I don't know though. All the women I know are super divas, and tend to say shit like, "Don't tell me what page to go on myspace. I'll go where I want" or "You know you want to have my babies."

I can do little but respond with "Fine!" or "Yes, it's true. I'll only have 3 though."

It's still a good idea. I'll try it.

I will also dance to some Paula Abdul.

Opposites Attract?

Maybe some Elvis? Don't Be Cruel?

Nah, I got it!

The Clash. Rock the Casbah!