Days 18-21: Chevy Celebrity Coughs Blood

Uncle Pooch helps us contemplate how badly the Chevy is doing.

"You either got a bad battery or alternator," he nodded to me.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"You probably got a lot more things wrong in this pile a heap too."


"Well, we might as well get a battery off that Mac in the back. Just make sure you get it back to me."

"That's nice of you, Pooch."

" want some more?" Pooch holds out a pouch of Redman.

"Okay," I say.

"You ain't getting dizzy yet."

"It's starting to get to me."

Pooch smiles and puts the pouch in his back pocket. I follow two steps behind him.

The Chevy Celebrity stalled nine times on the way to our location in Cortland. At one point, Todd Maki simply rolled down the backroads in reverse because I had to pop the car into drive without stopping to get the thing going.

I have a video of this Matrix-like maneuver. Apparently, they filmed me behind the wheel as well. I was even given a tuba soundtrack with the jokesters put-put-putting the car's sad state in an A cappella fashion: "Bum ba bum Ba bum Ba Bum..."

After the sixth stall on the highway, Todd expressed all our sentiments.

An organic POV of the machine in action. I will have the EUROSPORT insignia forever tattooed in my mind, as I repeatedly tried to honk the horn that did not work on this dinosaur of automobiles.

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