I read a poem today at a reading in Seoul. That was interesting. I haven't read a poem at a reading since I was doing the circuit in Denver in 2005. I guess that's a long time to not read a poem. Like in Denver, I often feel like people have no idea what I'm saying. Some things are better performance pieces than others.
Anyway, now I'm at home. I'm looking forward to tennis and a night with So Gee tomorrow. So Gee wants to see this Kung Fu Panda movie. I'm okay with that. There really aren't that many choices in this country for movies. It's usually just action flicks and animation in English. Everything else is either a Korean or foreign film with Korean subtitles. That doesn't make me mad or anything though. I've actually found a nice interest in action films. I've seen about a hundred my year and a half in Korea so far.
Earlier today, some folks were talking about how I was heading home after the next semester. They were wondering why. That made me a bit uncomfortable. I had to sort of come clean that there were other things waiting for me at home. It might have come off as snobbish. I wasn't trying to be though. I was just being honest. The guy I was talking to seemed to understand. He didn't try to persuade me to stay or anything. He just commented about how he was only supposed to be in Korea temporarily, and now it had been ten years. I told him I understood. Then I walked away. There wasn't much to say after that.
I wonder why people stay in situations that make them unhappy. I only wonder this for a second though, because I understand that sometimes things are beyond your control. Who knows? A person may not see another option open to them. They could also be in a bind financially, and have to take a path for a time being - a factor that might stretch longer than they had hoped.
I would say that is where I am slightly. I could head home, but that would put me out of a nice nest egg upon my return. Believe me. I've considered bailing on the idea of being financially anywhere. The truth hits home after you've lived a certain lifestyle though. I guess I can't seem to imagine being shit-for-broke and living the tough one anymore. It just doesn't make much sense.
If I wasn't planning on ever getting hitched to anyone, I probably wouldn't have the same concerns. I could just roost in some hole-in-the-wall small town and keep to myself. God knows I've known people who prefer this type of existence to the limitations a significant other or big city living could place on the Kung Fu wayward wanderer looking to see where the road takes them. If I entertained a possibility of solitude, I would lose hope somewhere between my romantic ideals and a cold night in the woods with no food. I've lived enough hardship to ever trek that way again.
No, I would say the choices before me have already been made. I am open to them changing, and I'll adapt if need be, but choosing stupidity over ease, simply isn't going to happen. I've got until December in Korea to go. Once I'm done, I won't make the mistake of leaving what I call home after that. The only question is where that home will be. New York calls me like Flea accosted Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future II. I'm close to taking the bait, when L.A. punches her in the face.
If I were L.A., I would start a riot.
If I were Charles Bukowski, I would drive a Pinto.
If I were an Oldsmobile, I would call up Henry Ford.
If I were Lee Iaccoca, I would start a sweepstakes.
If I were a Megaball, I would spin in a tube.
If I were at Sesame Place, I would go down a slide.
If I were Grover, I would not be able to close my mouth.
If I were a river, I would call myself Mr. Zippe.
If I were in ninth grade, I would be short.
If I were Gary Coleman, I would be in a reality show.
If I were Rosencrantz, Guildenstern would be dead.
If I were a zombie, I would walk on the moon.
If I were Michael Jackson, I would be sad.
If I were me, I would turn into U.
If I were a magnet, I would be a tar pit trap.
If I were Courtney Love, I would sue.
If I were Salinger, I would be a recluse.
If I were Kermit, I would sing on a log.
If I were snoring, I would wake up.
If I were awake, I wouldn't be asleep.
If I were a wrinkle, I would get laser treatment.
If I were my back, I would be afraid.
If I were stronger, I would turn myself loose.
If I were a tiger, I would attack a villager.
If I were a child, I would get eaten.
If I were bones on the ground, people would bury me.
If I were in the dirt, you wouldn't see me.
If I were growing daffodils, I would bring you some.
If I were a gentleman caller, I would court my mother.
If I were homophobic, I would throw up.
If I were sick, I would call a doctor.
If I were Bugs Bunny, I would know what to say.
If I were a silent movie, it would only be read.
If I were a composer, I would find other notes.
If I were a melody, I would turn on myself.
If I were inside, I would see the same as I do now.
If I were looking at you, I would tell you the truth.
If I were a lie, I would do it all over.
Identity Politics and Zen
8 hours ago