A Camel

This is definitely an interesting time for me. There are lots of things circling the old noggin'. One cloud in particular is the idea of attending a PhD program. Honestly, I am not sure what would be appropriate for me. Jim is suggesting going to a PhD in Creative Writing program in Europe, because of the benefits of simply having an advisor, no classes, and further concentration on creative work. I hear him on all fronts. That is a nice possibility. At the same time, I feel like I've already gotten a PhD in creative writing, so it really wouldn't be pushing the envelope for me. I'm not saying it's not possible, but it doesn't "give me a hard on" - to use Jim's expression of passion, which I love.

This leaves me with the other option that was recently proposed to me, which was a PhD in Communication and Philosophy at The European Graduate School. Honestly, I had not heard of it, until a colleague put the website in my face, and I have to say that I am fairly intrigued. They bolster an amazing lineup of professors from David Lynch to John Waters. That would be a very interesting proposition, and I am sure I would gain a lot from such a course. It would definitely be intellectually stimulating. Add to that an option to take classes completely online, and simply spend Summers in Switzerland, and you have me fairly interested. I will be looking more closely at the courses, and seeing if such an investment would really be worth my time in the long run.

Honestly, I am most interested in writing full time. I have been so busy with "making the Benjamins" that it has left little time for me to contribute to a full time writing schedule. Yes, I hear you. I have written 8 songs for the new album, and I am researching new possibilities for the next comic project, but writing novels takes a big chunk of time. You can't be working 3 jobs, and expect to get too much done.

I am going to try and rectify this situation in the coming months. I might try to manuever into a professor position at a neighboring school in Korea, with less hours and more vacation. Currently, I am scheduled at 13.5 hours with very little vacation time. Although this may seem ideal for some, it is certainly not good enough for someone working two additional jobs that have the potential to take 35 more hours a week. Add a moderate social life, and you have a writer "trying to find the time."

My other option besides securing a position with longer breaks, is to apply for a residency somewhere. That may be just what the doctor ordered. I would love to have an opportunity to go to a place like Stanford for its monetary supplement, writer's community, and potential for creating teaching prospects. At the same time, the possibility of attaining a residency at the school may be fairly slim for a writer of my tastes. As Eleni has put to me, "Stanford doesn't accept writers who write about dinosaurs."

Well, who knows if that's true. Maybe, not. I would still like to put it out there. I would like the opportunity to write more, and possibly only do that with my time. As it stands now, I find myself going further and further into a world where opportunities to do longer work is harder to get started; let alone completed. I may have to just resort to writing poetry exclusively, if this keeps up much longer.

As I am a firm believer in creating my life, I think I can switch some things around to make it possible. Although I actually despise the concept, I may have to schedule a required writing time - just to manage the hectic schedule, which has become my life. Otherwise, I may not ever get these new books finished.

Ah, it's not a big deal. It's also just me griping a bit. I don't know. I just love the act of creating. I love making things, and I would like to do that exclusively. At the same time, I do like to have things to eat, and the bare necessities for life. What's the compromise?

Well, that's the cute part. I don't think there is one. You just do or don't. As I am a do-er, it looks like I will have a scheduled writing time everyday. As this blog is a nice way to get things rolling, you'll probably see me playing here a lot more. Some things go into the private, don't-look-or-I'll-kill-you journal, but I like the idea of putting out creative work right to the public. It's a scary kind of feeling, and if all my years in acting have taught me anything, it's to go with the fear.

Here, I am now. I am following my fear.

Jimmy rode a camel to work everyday. It was not a large camel. It was just the right size. He thought this, and said it aloud to those around him, who were also making their morning commutes to The Milwaukee Institute for Desired Behavior.

"This camel is just the right size," he said.

No one said a word to Jimmy. He was in the Acquisitions Department. This was a rather notable division of TMIDB. Unlike other staff personnel, Jimmy was given free reign to make creative choices in how he would sign documents and deliver his morning salutations. He was also authorized to deal with improper behavior responses, or IBR's, with dietary restictions or physical damages to an insufficent employee's retina. Up to this very moment, he had blinded only 3 employees, one camel, and forced his mother, Florence, who worked in Stats, to a grapefruit and pecan diet- simply because Jimmy wanted to make-up for lost time.

In fact, this was a common occurence among several of the leading Acquisitions Personnel at TMIDB, and had been a running fad throughout the state of Wisconsin for the past several months. GBX, a local broadcasting network for the region, had even done a short segment on "Lumberyards and Loggers Who Want to Make-up for Lost Time," which went into the details of the psychological underpinnings of a failed parent-child dynamic that may have caused the recent insurgence of grown children placing their parents on dietary restrictions.

In Jimmy's case, the dietary restiction was not as much about a psychological issue, as it was about his sexual proclivities for eating grapefruit, and lying down naked to wait for the acid to "roll in his stomach like milk," as he said.

"I can feel it now," he would say. "It's like milk."

Although there are many who may not understand the warped mind of this protaganist, there is no need to worry. His heart is as simple as Yogi Bears, and, although the writer of this tale would like to remain incognito, it could be said that Jimmy is writing this tale as well. He is also not much of a writer, but a continual liar of sorts. He makes up stories about camels and his job at The University of Lisbon, where he serves as an Assistant Professor of Economics. He does this often, letting his mind trail in these various worlds, as the actual taxi that is moving him from one side of Lisbon to the other, heaves up and down like the beast he is envisioning.


Anonymous said...

i saw that you mentioned the european graduate school egs and i thought you might be interested in the uploaded egs video lectures featuring baudrillard, derrida, zizek, badiou, nancy, butler, haraway, greenaway, waters, egoyan, quay brothers etc ...
feel free to watch the complete lectures (check the playlists) at youtube.
if you have any questions regarding the european graduate school feel free to contact me through the youtube "send a message" system. thank you ...

Pirooz M. Kalayeh said...

Thanks H., I'll check it out.