So I've decided to become thin again. I know what you're thinking. Why? Why not be beautful and gargantuian. It works for you in Hollywood. All the boys in your building love you.
It's true. I'm am an adorable "bear" in Los Feliz, and it's been fun to get cat calls on my walks along Sunset, but it's time for a change.
I first started swelling in 2003. This was after a break up and giving up cigarettes for the first time. After quitting 18 more times (the cigs, that is--the relationship quit itself), I was finally able to stay away, but I did gain about 40 pounds in the process.
Now I'm going to play a video game with my body. I will eat well and exercise and see if I win this game of Carb Invaders.
Sogee, the Gangstarr, is in charge of my diet. She has told me it'll be lots of veggies, which is fine with me. I'm bored of being a meat eater too, so I'm just going to be a vegetarian from now on out. She doesn't know this, but I figure I might as well. It's just one more thing to get done now.
To help me through the process, I will be doing some novel and film sketches. The novel will be called Comrade Stalin Is My Friend. The film is HAJIB AND THE WARRIORS OF THE STARDUST GALAXY.
I will post bits of these things as they progress. For now, here is a picture of me being a Carb Invader from Mars.