Winter Blues

I'm feeling pretty depressed. I'm not sure if it's my stomach still feeling like crap, or the fact that it is winter out here and I'm not used to it. Either way, I am seriously considering going back to the states. I could go right back to producing, or just find a nice little town, like Portland, to hang out in for a while. I'm just not sure. The new job here might be interesting, and it's not like I have a lot of money to just make a move back to L. A., and hope to rock it on charm alone. I know I can have a devastating smile, but I do need a nice little chunk of change to buy a car, apartment, and cell phone, etc. Right now I got a couple thousand saved up. I figure I'm going to have to suffer another year here to live somewhere else comfortably, or end up getting a scholarship or something to some PhD gig. Of course, I don't really know what the cards hold. This new job may be the shits, and I'll want to get home as soon as the year is up, or it just might be bearable. Who knows? I'm not really looking forward to it. If I felt healthier, I might feel differently. I don't know though. There is something about being sick here, and not having the comforts of home, or a familiar face. It's pretty lonely.

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